Dear Phone, i`m sorry for dropping you, yelling at you, forgetting to charge you, and throwing you. Love, Carless User.

I`m not addicted to alcohol. I`m just in an abusive relationship with it

My Girlfriend wanted to see the world, so I bought her an atlas.

As a kid i was a OUTSTANDING student. Most of the time I used to stand outside the class :-)

Renamed my iPod as `the titantic` so when I plug it in it`s says `the titantic is syncing.

the awkward moment when your friend says... "Awe you two would be so cute together !"♥ n u both just awkwardly stand there.

PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS STATUS: "Why is it so hard 4 ppl to obey warnings?"

Let`s talk about how fabulous u think I am.

Theres a light at every end of a tunnel just pray its not a train..

The Words That Spoiled Many Boy`s Life... . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Dude She`s Looking At U."